Medicin Doll

I have started working with making dolls on another level than before. I´m making medicin dolls and are attending a year long course with the wonderful teacher Barb Kobe. It is a wonderful proces.
This is the first doll in a series of 6. She is The Guardian. I haven´t come up with her name yet, but she is a very old, wise woman. She is the protector.
It has been a very special creative proces until now. I don't just make her out of my imagination. I ask myself through intuition, dreams and feelings. I try to work with the inner feeling guiding me in the direction of healing. This is the medicin doll way.

I am working with paperclay. The brand is Creative Paperclay. It is hard to find here in Denmark, so I have to order it from USA. That makes it very expensive, but I really like this clay, so it is worth the money. It hold the details nicely and becomes very hard and durable after curing.



I thought I would show you how I make hands. There are many ways of making hands, and for a long time, I found it very hard and frustrating, because it was difficult to make them identical. They never looked like my drawing. At a puppet workshop, I was tought to make the armature from styrofoam and small pipe cleaners. It is quite easy. At this picture you can see that I have cut out two identical small squares of styrofoam. This is the size of her palms. Then I cut the pipe cleaners in different lenghts. I use my own hand as reference. After this, I glue them into the styrofoam, and let it dry completely.

After it is dried, I take a little portion of the papierclay, and add some water to it in a little bowl. It becomes liquid, and then I paint it on the entire hand. After drying again, I can add small pieces of clay, and use my sculpting tool to smooth and sculpt the hand.

This dolls hands are supposed to be quite big, because they are a part of her symbolisme.

I will make her feets without the styrofoam, They need some weight. Perhaps I will put some lead in them. Don´t know yet.

This is not just an art doll. Itis not supposed to be sculpted entirely with clay. It has another purpose, and therefore I need to change my normal way of making it.

I like to make the body proportions correct. I am a little perfectionistic.
I think I have to throw this habit out the window in this creative proces, because it is not helping me much. Too much thinking is not helping. It is leading me astray.

I was thinking about this for some time. How could I let go of my perfectionisme, and insted try to follow the creative proces? Should I make her with just natural materials like twigs and such? Should I make her as a paperdoll? Would she be an abstract version? Symbolic? Surreal?

I had an inner picture of her, but my feelings kept telling me to go in another direction. My inner picture was an old hag, living deep in the ground, heavy, grey and with dark colored, coarse clothing. This was the doll I wanted to make. But my feelings kept on showing me another version: lighter, happier and much more colorfull. I saw bright blue and yellow with green. Not dark blue and grey.... This version had another feeling than the first one. I had a little difficulties changing my original idea... Do you know what I´m talking about here?
Killing your Darling is very hard, right? I could write a long blog post about that....

Of course I will follow my feelings. That is the sole purpose of my intention of making this medicin doll. Of course I will make her younger, lighter and brighter if my feelings are telling me to.

I decided to make the armature as I had planned, but head, hands and feet will not be anatomical correct. They will be enlarged. Her dress will be big, colorfull and decorated with all the symbols that this doll is trying to show me.

The armature is made with strong steel wire, covered with masking tape. When the feet are done and attached with the head and hands, I will cover the body in batting strips. Then she is ready for clothing. But this is all I have for today. Keep coming back for updates ;-)

Update on the fairytale dolls

 Still working on this project. My paperclay made some cracks, so I had to put some more diluted paperclay on the doll. After that, I sanded them all down, untill det studio was covered in fine white dust ;-)

After sanding the dolls, I changed my mind aabout the wolf´s fur, and covered his whole body in a very string joint compound and made some structure looking like fur. After sanding them again, I painted the base coat using some cheap acryliv paint.

Tip: I have a lot of acrylic paint, and I usually use the cheap quality for priming and basecoats. I like to paint with very expensive paint, so I am not using that for that. 

Tomorrow I will sand the paint again and perhaps give it another layer. Then I´m going to start painting the faces.

I had an idea today. I was thinking about hair and accessories as eg a crown. How to make then stay ontop of the head? I think I want to try to drill a hole in the head, and make wigs that have a stick that fits the hole. Small crowns can also fit in the hole. I must think about how to make that. It really could work, because these dolls are going to be moved, and I don´t want to worry about things falling of the doll. That kinda ruins the magic, don´t you think? 

Now, I´m off to bed. I must get up early tomorrow, because I have an very early appointment with a speech therapist ;-) I need to learn how to breath properly ;-) I´ll tell you more about it later...;-)

Good night! 

Late update on The Guardian (part 5)

Link to part 1
Link to part 2
Link to part 3

Link to part 4

Just a quick update! I´m painting the medicin doll. I am trying to keep her pale, feminin look. I´m trying to create a celestial look, but not some pale vampire look ;-)  I´ll add some hair tomorrow. Sometimes the doll changes completely when it gets hair. I´m thinking long purple hair. What do you think?

She is starting to grow on me (Medicin doll part 4)

Link to part 1
Link to part 2
Link to part 3

Good evening! I´m back, after a couple of busy days, filled with family visits, a trip to an annual medieval festival in Horsens (where I bought a slingshot, and I am going to learn how to shoot/throw with it!!), a Sunday in sleepwear and studying. After a couple of years of working in the kindergarden, I am going back to school part time to take a degree in art and aesthetics. It is very fun, but also a bit exhausting. I need to remember to retreat to my studio, just to breath and let my thoughts run free, without having to relate to anyone. This is how I generate energy.

Tonight I´m back to working with my medicin doll: The Guardian. She is really starting to grow on me! It feels like something inside is communicating itself out to me. I have no idea if this doll making process is nothing more than my imagination running freely, making everything up along the way, making me believe a little, that there really are universal benign forces, looking down on me, encouraging me to keep on working with her. And does it really matter?

I have problems with my perfectionism. I tell my self all the time that this is NOT an art doll, but a medicin doll. I don´t know why I keep on remembering myself that there is a difference, because in fact, there are no rules when it comes to dollmaking. I can do what I want. But to me, it feels safer to work in this manner, because the art doll is made for display, but the medicin doll is made from the heart. In order to work with the heart, I try to keep my focus on the doll´s feeling, and not so much how it looks. But it is rather diffecult. I like perfectionism.

I realized that in my last post I made a mistake. I wrote that the human hands are the same size as the distance from the chin to the top of the head, but this is off course wrong. The hands would be to big. I´m sorry about that. It has been too long since I made a doll. The correct size is from the chin to the forehead hairline. See this link

I decided to paint her body a  beautiful dark Prussian Blue. This color symbolizes in my opinion pure femininity and it symbolises feminine power rising. I will paint swirling waves in silver on her body. This will symbolize the waves of creation.

I like her white pale face, but somehow that look also make her a bit distant. I will start the painting process tomorrow evening. Right now I am working with a image of her much like a snow queen. As I am writing this, I am listening to one of my female muses and great heroines in life: Clarissa Pinkola Estés. She is talking about the story: "The Snow Queen" (The Joyous Body). Isn´t that fascinating? Is that synchronicity, or what? My nightly dreams also show different aspects of both my feminin shadow and power.
This process is fascinating. Medicin dolls are fascinating ;-)
Some pics:

Sculpting hands are always a challenge! (Medicin doll part 3)

Link to part 1
Link to part 2

Good evening, I´m back as promised with som work in progress of how I sculpt hands.
I am not really good at sculpting hands. Really. Not any good. I find it very very hard and challenging. Polymer clay is a bit easier than paperclay, but over all I think the hands are the hardest part to sculpt.

Continuing from yesterdays decision, I am not trying to make it perfect. This is a medicin doll, not an art doll.

Okay, first I roll the clay like this:

Then I divide the clay in two:

I make sure that the hands have the correct size. They should be the same length as the face. In my case 5 cm (2")

Then I cut the fingers halfway down:

And then I start to sculpt. This process is hard to describe. I´m not really any good at it as I said, but I try and try, and at some point I get a hand that I can accept. Then I add a thumb on both hands.

I totally forgot to take pictures after this, but here is the result. I am going to sand a lot tomorrow night, in order for those fingers to look a bit more slender and elegant ;-)

The Guardian Medicin Doll (Medicin doll part 2)

Link to part 1

The paperclay was dry tonight, so I was able to start sanding and thereafter fill some of the cracks with diluted gesso. It works just fine on those very tiny cracks.

After sanding her, I started to become unsatisfied with her closed eyes. Her eyelids are too thick! I tried to sand them down a bit, but it didn´t work. I tried two different drimmel tools but neither one worked. I decided to love the eyes anyway. I try to supress my urge to start over and make better eyes....

I am making this doll both a bit primitive and detailed. I want her face and hands to be very detailed, and the rest of her body to be quite primitive. Making something primitive is really hard for me, and I admire those who work intentionally in this way. I always try to make something better and better, an making it primitive feels all wrong, even though I just love the style when others make it!!
A dollartist once said that one should not fight one´s own style, and I think there is much truth in that statement. A big part of the creative journey is to find ones own style, so why fight it?

Very well - my artdoll is not an artdoll, but a MEDICIN doll, so I try to brake all my own rules of perfection, an just go along with my feeling more that my head.

After adding the gesso, I drilled a hole through her wooden body and pulled a rope through the hole. This will be her shoulders and arms. She will stand with her arms hanging down, but I like the mobility in the arms. I also made some breasts with Magic Sculpt. She is partly mother earth, so large breasts will be appropriate ;-) The Magic Sculpt will be rock hard tomorrow.

Well, enough for tonight. Tomorrow I will make her hands, and I will show you how I do that. See you there?

Back again with a new project and some medicin! (Medicin doll part 1)

It has been a while since I´ve updated this blog. I haven´t had much time for creative projects lately, but now I am back with new adventures!

As many of you know, I just love dolls. I have always love to make them, and I also spend a lot of time admire other artists work. There are so many talented artists out there, and many, many collectors of their beautiful art.
I´m not quite like that. I don´t particularly like having them displayed in my house just as nice decor. To me, they are personal and part of myself. It looks like, that I just have a hard time making dolls, or other kind of art projects, if it is not deeply personal. I can´t change that. Perhaps it´s just not who I am. Perhaps I am doomed in this way, because it means that every piece of art I produce is made with blood, sweat and tears.

Sometimes it feels like a birth-giving process. I get an idea (fertilized), I work with the idea in my imagination and collect materials for making it (pregnancy), I create the character with a lot of hassle (labor and finally birth, if I´m lucky). At first, I feel very attached to the the doll, like a mother with her newborn child.
I fall in love with it, and want to have it close to me all the time. Silly, I know, but it it´s true. I also have a hard time parting with it. It feels like I am parting with a piece of my own heart. It can also feel very intimate to discuss my art with people. They are talking about a nice piece of creative art, but I´m talking about my inner feelings like stress, love, anger, hate, sorrow, longings and more.

Sometimes I´d wish I could make lots and lots of art and just sell everything fast and easy, without hesitation. That would be so easy. Just to have fun making it.
My art is not like that at all. Like I said, it´s blood, sweat and tears.

During the proces of making a e.g. doll, I travel inside and explore often unknown aspects of myself. Sometimes something shows up, and I don´t know where it comes from. Did I really make that? Who am I really, if I can make this? Questions like that.

At the beginnning, I often get carried away by old stories, myths, fairytales, old paintings, music and lyrics, poems and so much more. Very often lyrics actually. The first time I heard "Princess of China" by Coldplay, my head just exploded with ideas for painting, just after hearing the line "You stole my star".

I had like 10 paintings in mind just like that in 10 seconds! Music often do that to me.
The hard part is to actually go downstairs to my studio, sit down in front of my easel and get started.....

I have had this idea, that dollmaking could be a like a therapeutic process, but I didn´t know how to find a tutor, or any litterature to guide my process. Untill I found it it ;-) I found a tutorial by Barb Kobe, purchased it, and now I am making dolls again. Barb Kobe calls it medicin dolls. I couldn´t believe my luck!

In her tutorial, besides a lot of exercises in unlocking the creativity, she teaches how to make 4 different medicin dolls. The first one I am making is "The Guardian". This is a doll that will protect me while I am going deeper into my shadowself. I have had a hard time making her. I have an endless amount of excuses. I´m the queen of procrastination! I have soo much resistance, even though I really, really want to make her. Do you sometimes feel like that too?

One of my problems, is to choose how to make her. I have a tendancy of being a perfectionist, and it is really a terrible drag! I have it all in my head, but I would like to just sit down and make the god dammed doll with any crafting materials I have lying around, but no, not this person. I will sit and look at the sketch, long for the feeling of clay in my hands, jump around cheering, because I love some fabric or whatever, but keep on hesitating instead of just go ahead and do it.
This Guardian doll has kept me on my toes for some time now. I learn så much about my self during this process.

So, now I am in labor. I am to give birth to my medicin doll. She is a universal protector from another dimension. A beautiful blend of mother earth, a galactic warrior, vulnerable as a butterfly but brave as a raging tiger. She stands with her eyes closed, dwelling into the Infinite Light, but still alert, in case I need her. I welcome her wholeheartedly  into my artistic process and life.

Here is a wip picture:

Paper clay on wooden candlestick. 

New project: Many artists are making one doll!

I am participating in a new and exciting project. We are 7 different dollmakers from both Denmark and Sweden, which makes a part of eachothers doll. Sound exciting? It is! Let me explain: We all make a dollhead, and sends it off to another in the project, whom makes hands and feets, and sends it off to the third person, whom makes the body and so on. In some months my dollhead, according to our plan, will return to me, and I will get to have a doll, that so many have contributet in making!

Now, we just started, and this is my head:

I used a foamball and some paperclay (LaDoll), acrylic eyes and som "Decor Lack" from Marabu. Now I will send it off to Hannemette  http://www.kunstloftet.dk/. I hope she will give it some cool hands and feet :-)

By the way, something sad happened today :-( I had to take my beloved furfriend Merlin to the vet. He made some weird choking sounds and smelled like a dead bird in decay :-) I got really scared but the vet put him under seduction and took a look in his mouth. Nothing stuck in there, but he had a big red wound on his tongue... Thank God, just some virus infection!! The vet gave us some painkillers and some pencilin, and in a week he will be back to normal. I am so happy! It totally freaked me out to see his weird behaviour. I also got a bit sad, because I now realize that he accually tried to tell me, but I didn´t understand... He would sit on my lap and look me in the eye, making those sounds and refuse to eat... Poor little thing. I didn´t understand untill today, after he refused to eat his favorite snack! Then I phoned the vet at once!
Here he is, still a bit sleepy:

Unloved artdoll?

Please welcome "RubberDuck"!

He is a 20" artdoll made from polymer clay and paperclay. 

He used to be a rubber duck, but didn´t think anyone would love him, so he changed into another bird.

He was made for my brother as a christmas present this year. 

Stjerne-mand er nu blå

Det går fremad med Stjernemanden. Han er nu belagt med papirler og blevet slibt med sandpapir. Han er malet med acryl maling, og til slut dækket med limlak og hvidt mikroglimmer. Jeg mangler at give ham lidt hår, male underlaget, give ham et scepter med en skinnende stjerne og til aller sidst, at give ham et godt lag med en kraftig lak. 

Nu varer det ikke længe før han er helt færdig!

Nu er katten snart færdig

Kattefigur - prototype

Det går fremad med mine katte. Jeg har dækket grundkonstruktionen med ler ( La Doll - et hollandsk papirler produkt), og forsøgt at lave en kat som jeg kan dekorere med skønne farver i et abstrakt mønster. Denne kat er en prototype, og jeg eksperimenterer med materialet og tørretid etc. Nu håber jeg på, at den ikke sprækker eller revner. 

Ny Felix figur

Jeg har en svaghed for katte, og de må gerne være blå :-) 

Her har jeg lavet en figur i selvhærdende papirler. Den er bygget op omkring flamingokugler og træpinde. Den står på et display i træ med fræsede kanter. Øjnene er acryl, og håret er tibetansk uld. 

Katten er malet med Super Dæk, og har fået kunstige øjenvipper. Kraven er syntetisk silke og der er limet forskellige silkehjerter på i rød og blå. 

Den måler ca 35 cm i højden.  

Den mangler at få knurhår og lak. 

Bedre billeder snart :-)

Jeg går i tænkeboks... (Del 1)

Jeg skal lave en animationsdukke, men det er ikke hvilken som helst dukke. Det skal blive en dukke, som både kan føres fra nakken og hånd, samtidigt med, at den skal kunne bruges som en almindelig hånddukke...
Forvirret? Forklaring følger hermed: Jeg skal bruge en figur til pædagogisk dukketeater/fortælling, og har derfor brug for en figur, som kan føres på et bord, og hvor jeg selv står bagved. Samtidig skal den kunne have en funktion som en mere intim dukketeaterfigur, hvor jeg kan føre den indefra med håndstillinger, når jeg sidder sammen med børnene.

Jeg bliver nødt til at tænke figuren færdig inden jeg går i gang, da der er mange dele som skal kunne arbejde sammen.

1. Jeg skal lave en hoved, som både har indvendig hul, og udvendig fingerkrog. 
2. Kroppen skal både ligne en figur, samtidig med at der er forberedt til en hånd.
3. Figuren skal være meget stabil og kunne holde til lidt hårdhændet behandling. Jeg ved ikke om det skal være cernit, Super Sculpy, Træmoddellermasse eller papirler.

Det bliver spændende at se den i proces.

Jeg mangler desuden en god gammeldags kuffert. Hvis du ligger inde med sådan en, så mail lige.

På dette link til en video kan du se hvilken type dukke det er jeg vil lave.

Kasse-Madsen fra Teater Refleksion

Så blev den lille stjerne færdig

Min lille stjernedreng er færdig. Her er måden:

Han er syet af ubleget lærredstof og bamsefyld.

Grundet 2 gange med gesso.

Der er modelleret et ansigt direkte ovenpå med selvhærdende ler, som efterfølgende forsigtigt blev løftet af og slebet med sandpapir.

Nyt lag gesso.

Malet med flere lag "Duper Dæk" fra AV Form og Decorlack fra Marabu.

Glanslak i øjnene.

Hele figuren skal have et lag med lak når det hele er gennemtørret.

StarPeople

Min stjerneformede figur er syet færdig. Jeg havde først klippet delene ud og grundet dem med Gesso, men det viste sig, at efter de var syet sammen på vrangen, var det komplet umuligt at vende det om, fordi Gessoen havde gjort stoffet stift som pap :-). Jeg måtte således op på hesten igen, og syede først stjernen, vendte den om, fyldte vat i og syede resten smmen i hånden. Så grundede jeg det igen med Gesso, og nu er stjernen atter stiv.Til slut modellerede jeg et ansigt direkte ovenpå. på Når det er tørt, vil jeg prøve at male den med mine nye farver Superdæk, og se om resultatet bliver godt. Jeg er ret spændt på hvordan de kommer til at se ud.

SunAngel & Felix

Jeg er ved at male Felix. Det er det sjoveste, synes jeg. Han er blå med prikker og striber. Hans øjne er en smule "loopy-loo". Knurhårene har krøller. Jeg har ikke sat hale på endnu.

Det er sjovt at se, hvordan det hele former sig. Noget bliver som jeg har tænkt, og andet får et nyt liv.

På dette billede kan man se opstillingen på hele figuren. SunAngel står og kigger i den ene retning, og Felix sidder og kigger i den anden. De er begge fastmonteret på basen med aliminiumsrør så de kan også tages af. En fantastisk opfindelse af mig selv synes jeg.

Mere kommer snart.

Det bliver det det er, eller det er det det bliver...

Jeg laver en ny dukke. Blev træt af at være sur på Snehvides hænder. Nu trængte jeg til at lave noget nyt! Det er Solengelen/SolAnn. Har ikke helt bestemt mig endnu. Hun står med sin blå kat Felix. Det er den samme figur jeg har malet på billedet "I´m back". Hvis den bliver god, skriver jeg en historie om makker-parret og bruger dem til et dukketeaterstykke.

Oh nej, der skulle lige laves nye hænder....

Tryk her for at komme til den seneste opdatering!

Det er påsketid (del 2)

Så blev jeg færdig med min påskeæske! Processen var lang og svær, men jeg holdt ud, og kan nu i morgen, aflevere den med fyld til mit dejlige barnebarn på 15 måneder. Det sværeste var at styre farverne, og vente på dem at tørre. Jeg forsøgte at bruge maler-tape, men farverne ville bryde sig igennem tapen, og det gjorde at det så sjusket ud. Jeg havde store ambitioner om at dekorere hele æsken, men det blev også kun til de to af siderne.
Det er meget uvant for mig at male så små motiver. Jeg er mere typen som maler med store pensler og bruger store mængder maling. Dog, så har jeg gerne gang i flere projekter af gangen. Jeg elsker at gå til og fra forskellige projekter, og skifte mellem de store armbevægelser, og de meget små detaljerede. Måske det bare er min personlighed? Jeg arbejder meget på at finde min egen stil, men det er faktisk svært. Jeg bruger meget tid på at kigge på, hvad andre kunstnere laver, og jeg beundrer dem og vurderer deres arbejde. Jeg ville elske at finde min egen stil. Måske det kommer med tiden? Når man har lavet så mange, at mange ting bliver automatiseret? Jeg kæmper med, at mange ting er første gang for mig (og jeg er ikke god til at lære noget for første gang). Når noget er svært, så får jeg en meget stressfyldt følelse, og gider ikke rigtigt at fortsætte. Jeg lægger det hele fra mig, og går og kredser om det, som en sulten kat, der kigger på en mus. Det er bare så svært, synes jeg! Jeg har f.eks. et stort problem med at forme hænder og fødder. Resultatet er bare så dårligt, at jeg ikke vil være mig selv det bekendt.
Nå, men vil du se hvad der er inde i påskeæsken? Tryk her!
Rigtig god påsk til alle som læser dette!