"The Creative Guardian" paperdoll

 I am taking a  year long healing doll class with Barb Kobe again this year. You can read more about this here

At the beginning at this long healing proces, we are invited to make 3 paper dolls: 

• The Creative Guardian, 
• The Original Inner Creative 
• The Inner Critic

I used Barb´s pattern for this paper doll, and spent a whole afternoon searching for a photo of myself that looked kind and supporting. My printer is almost dead, so the quality of the print was poor. Somehow it printed my face in blue all the time, so I I took a sheet of watercolorpaper and splashed a lot of acrylic ink on it: blue, green and purple colors. 

The paper doll look´s allright, but I struggle with the face. (Inner critic is jumping up and down). It is over decorated. I mean, I can print a new face and glue it on top, but for now I´ll just keep the first one. 

It is a new face. Much more color. And it looks brave. 

Very interesting....

The text is a page from Louise Hay´s calendar: One positive affirmation a day. I kept them, and use them for different purposes, like this. 

The background is just a acrylic painting on a piece of paper that I´m working on. 

You can purchase the Barb Kobe Inner Selfie ebook at this link: Inner Selfie

She is starting to grow on me (Medicin doll part 4)

Link to part 1
Link to part 2
Link to part 3

Good evening! I´m back, after a couple of busy days, filled with family visits, a trip to an annual medieval festival in Horsens (where I bought a slingshot, and I am going to learn how to shoot/throw with it!!), a Sunday in sleepwear and studying. After a couple of years of working in the kindergarden, I am going back to school part time to take a degree in art and aesthetics. It is very fun, but also a bit exhausting. I need to remember to retreat to my studio, just to breath and let my thoughts run free, without having to relate to anyone. This is how I generate energy.

Tonight I´m back to working with my medicin doll: The Guardian. She is really starting to grow on me! It feels like something inside is communicating itself out to me. I have no idea if this doll making process is nothing more than my imagination running freely, making everything up along the way, making me believe a little, that there really are universal benign forces, looking down on me, encouraging me to keep on working with her. And does it really matter?

I have problems with my perfectionism. I tell my self all the time that this is NOT an art doll, but a medicin doll. I don´t know why I keep on remembering myself that there is a difference, because in fact, there are no rules when it comes to dollmaking. I can do what I want. But to me, it feels safer to work in this manner, because the art doll is made for display, but the medicin doll is made from the heart. In order to work with the heart, I try to keep my focus on the doll´s feeling, and not so much how it looks. But it is rather diffecult. I like perfectionism.

I realized that in my last post I made a mistake. I wrote that the human hands are the same size as the distance from the chin to the top of the head, but this is off course wrong. The hands would be to big. I´m sorry about that. It has been too long since I made a doll. The correct size is from the chin to the forehead hairline. See this link

I decided to paint her body a  beautiful dark Prussian Blue. This color symbolizes in my opinion pure femininity and it symbolises feminine power rising. I will paint swirling waves in silver on her body. This will symbolize the waves of creation.

I like her white pale face, but somehow that look also make her a bit distant. I will start the painting process tomorrow evening. Right now I am working with a image of her much like a snow queen. As I am writing this, I am listening to one of my female muses and great heroines in life: Clarissa Pinkola Estés. She is talking about the story: "The Snow Queen" (The Joyous Body). Isn´t that fascinating? Is that synchronicity, or what? My nightly dreams also show different aspects of both my feminin shadow and power.
This process is fascinating. Medicin dolls are fascinating ;-)
Some pics:

Sculpting hands are always a challenge! (Medicin doll part 3)

Link to part 1
Link to part 2

Good evening, I´m back as promised with som work in progress of how I sculpt hands.
I am not really good at sculpting hands. Really. Not any good. I find it very very hard and challenging. Polymer clay is a bit easier than paperclay, but over all I think the hands are the hardest part to sculpt.

Continuing from yesterdays decision, I am not trying to make it perfect. This is a medicin doll, not an art doll.

Okay, first I roll the clay like this:

Then I divide the clay in two:

I make sure that the hands have the correct size. They should be the same length as the face. In my case 5 cm (2")

Then I cut the fingers halfway down:

And then I start to sculpt. This process is hard to describe. I´m not really any good at it as I said, but I try and try, and at some point I get a hand that I can accept. Then I add a thumb on both hands.

I totally forgot to take pictures after this, but here is the result. I am going to sand a lot tomorrow night, in order for those fingers to look a bit more slender and elegant ;-)

Back again with a new project and some medicin! (Medicin doll part 1)

It has been a while since I´ve updated this blog. I haven´t had much time for creative projects lately, but now I am back with new adventures!

As many of you know, I just love dolls. I have always love to make them, and I also spend a lot of time admire other artists work. There are so many talented artists out there, and many, many collectors of their beautiful art.
I´m not quite like that. I don´t particularly like having them displayed in my house just as nice decor. To me, they are personal and part of myself. It looks like, that I just have a hard time making dolls, or other kind of art projects, if it is not deeply personal. I can´t change that. Perhaps it´s just not who I am. Perhaps I am doomed in this way, because it means that every piece of art I produce is made with blood, sweat and tears.

Sometimes it feels like a birth-giving process. I get an idea (fertilized), I work with the idea in my imagination and collect materials for making it (pregnancy), I create the character with a lot of hassle (labor and finally birth, if I´m lucky). At first, I feel very attached to the the doll, like a mother with her newborn child.
I fall in love with it, and want to have it close to me all the time. Silly, I know, but it it´s true. I also have a hard time parting with it. It feels like I am parting with a piece of my own heart. It can also feel very intimate to discuss my art with people. They are talking about a nice piece of creative art, but I´m talking about my inner feelings like stress, love, anger, hate, sorrow, longings and more.

Sometimes I´d wish I could make lots and lots of art and just sell everything fast and easy, without hesitation. That would be so easy. Just to have fun making it.
My art is not like that at all. Like I said, it´s blood, sweat and tears.

During the proces of making a e.g. doll, I travel inside and explore often unknown aspects of myself. Sometimes something shows up, and I don´t know where it comes from. Did I really make that? Who am I really, if I can make this? Questions like that.

At the beginnning, I often get carried away by old stories, myths, fairytales, old paintings, music and lyrics, poems and so much more. Very often lyrics actually. The first time I heard "Princess of China" by Coldplay, my head just exploded with ideas for painting, just after hearing the line "You stole my star".

I had like 10 paintings in mind just like that in 10 seconds! Music often do that to me.
The hard part is to actually go downstairs to my studio, sit down in front of my easel and get started.....

I have had this idea, that dollmaking could be a like a therapeutic process, but I didn´t know how to find a tutor, or any litterature to guide my process. Untill I found it it ;-) I found a tutorial by Barb Kobe, purchased it, and now I am making dolls again. Barb Kobe calls it medicin dolls. I couldn´t believe my luck!

In her tutorial, besides a lot of exercises in unlocking the creativity, she teaches how to make 4 different medicin dolls. The first one I am making is "The Guardian". This is a doll that will protect me while I am going deeper into my shadowself. I have had a hard time making her. I have an endless amount of excuses. I´m the queen of procrastination! I have soo much resistance, even though I really, really want to make her. Do you sometimes feel like that too?

One of my problems, is to choose how to make her. I have a tendancy of being a perfectionist, and it is really a terrible drag! I have it all in my head, but I would like to just sit down and make the god dammed doll with any crafting materials I have lying around, but no, not this person. I will sit and look at the sketch, long for the feeling of clay in my hands, jump around cheering, because I love some fabric or whatever, but keep on hesitating instead of just go ahead and do it.
This Guardian doll has kept me on my toes for some time now. I learn så much about my self during this process.

So, now I am in labor. I am to give birth to my medicin doll. She is a universal protector from another dimension. A beautiful blend of mother earth, a galactic warrior, vulnerable as a butterfly but brave as a raging tiger. She stands with her eyes closed, dwelling into the Infinite Light, but still alert, in case I need her. I welcome her wholeheartedly  into my artistic process and life.

Here is a wip picture:

Paper clay on wooden candlestick. 

And hello to you too, my little friend!!

I just love the moment, when my dolls look back at me and say: "hello?"

This one just need some clothes :-)